I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
