The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
