How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
