My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
