Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
