Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
