i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
