So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
