you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
