It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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