So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Randomize
