whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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