ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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