p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
