party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
