No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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