You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
