We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
