Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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