so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
