guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Screwed.edu
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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