tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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