I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
