Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize