apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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