When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am naked and annoyed.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
tell me about the fingering
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