96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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