I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
