i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
it was like eating out sand paper
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
