The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
