Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
