don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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