On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
