I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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