He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
