Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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