i think my tv is drunk
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
