and you said cock pushups were impossible
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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