all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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