Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
