Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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