whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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