Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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