It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hippo gnu deer
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
