You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
