can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do vagina's smell?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
