Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
