Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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