Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
