You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
