absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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